and we fumbled around and found it and paid him, and went out, probably
the most disgusted excursionist that ever was. Dan, who had watched the
whole business, slapped us on the shoulder, and said, "How did it work?"
Though not particularly hungry, we could have eaten him raw. When we go
east now, we take a lunch along, and when the other passengers are in to
supper, we sit on the woodpile at Sparta, eat our lunch and gaze at the
fountains, talk with the brakemen, and wonder if the landlord would know
us if we should go in and take a toothpick off the counter. Not any more
bummer for us, and no man must ever tell us how to save two shillings on a
meal.


HOW TO REACH YOUNG MEN.

"How to reach young men," was the topic at the young men's prayer meeting
on Thursday. An old gentleman on the East Side who broke a toe nail by
kicking the gate post just as the young man went down the sidewalk, would
also like to know. Bait your hook with a mighty good looking girl that
wears a sealskin cloak, and you can reach the young men.


CRUSHING NIHILISM.

The Russian government is making an average of four thousand arrests a day
of persons charged with nihilism. At this rate it is only a question of
time when the last of the conspirators will be in prison, and the emperor
can walk out without fear of assassination from his wife and children, as
these will probably be all the people that will be left.