[Illustration: _Apologetic Golfer._ "I SHOUTED 'FORE!' YOU KNOW."
_Sailor._ "WELL, YOU'VE HIT ME AFT!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Tar (by way of opening the conversation)._ "AHEM! BEEN OUT
IN THE LIFEBOAT OFTEN, MISS?"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Jones (who in going through his wardrobe has unearthed a
memento of happier days at Margate)._ "WELL, IF THEY SHOULD CALL UP THE
FORTY-FIVES, I THINK IT WILL HAVE TO BE THE NAVY."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _The Artist (impatiently)._ "FOR GOODNESS' SAKE PUT SOME
EXPRESSION INTO IT! JUST IMAGINE YOU'VE COME THROUGH A TERRIBLE
EXPERIENCE--SHIP TORPEDOED--YOU SOLE SURVIVOR. AFTER CLINGING TO A
BELAYING-PIN NINETEEN HOURS IN THE OPEN SEA YOU ARE RESCUED AT THE LAST
GASP. YOU ARE NOW RELATING YOUR ADVENTURES TO YOUR AGED PARENTS."

_Model (obligingly)._ "THAT'S ALL RIGHT, SIR--I CAN MANAGE IT. BUT EXCUSE
ME. DID YOU SAY EIGHTEEN HOURS, OR WAS IT NINETEEN?"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _King Alfred (founder of the Navy)._ "MADAM, I WAS
EXPERIMENTING ON BISCUITS FOR MY SEA-DOGS."]