ME AS IF I HADN'T PAID ANY FARE."

_Second Flapper._ "AND WHAT DID YOU DO?"

_First Flapper._ "I JUST GLARED BACK AT HIM--AS IF I HAD!"]

* * * * *

THE FRUIT MERCHANT.

"I feel regular down this morning, Sir," said Private Thomas Weeks, as I
seated myself beside his bed; "regular down, I do."

It was such a very unusual greeting from this source that I said anxiously,
"Not the leg gone wrong?"

"No, the old leg's fine. It's the stopping of the imports." He indicated
the morning paper which he had just laid aside. "It's just about bust up my
old business."

I took the paper and glanced down the list of prohibited articles. Clocks
and parts thereof, perfumery, and quails (live) caught my eye. I didn't
think it could be any of these.

"What was your business?" I asked.

"Fruit merchant, Sir. Barrow trade, you understand. 'Awker, some calls it.
But it don't much matter now what it's called, 'cos it's bust up."

"Not quite bust up, is it?" I said. "Only a bit cut down for a time."