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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, March 28, 1917 by Various
page 52 of 60 (86%)
as we 'ave ever been in our lives. Mrs. Sweedle was very upset. "I know
what soldiers is for punctuality," she said, "a minute late and they're
court-martialled. How would it be if you was to lay the fire over-night and
scrub over the floor? It 'ud save ye a lot in the mornin', if so be I'm
forced to keep me bed."

We done as she advised, and it were fortunate. She 'ad another
sick-'eadache the next day, and sent word by Albert would we be so good as
bake her a mouthful of toast; she knew what soldiers' toast was like, it
give ye a appetite to look at it, thin and crisp, with the butter laid on
smooth as cream and cut in fingers.

We never run no risk after that. 'Owever dog-tired we was and 'owever Mrs.
Sweedle seemed in 'ealth we always got the work forward over-night, and
when we could catch 'old of Bobby and Tom and Albert we washed 'em to save
time in the mornin' and parted their 'air.

One day Mrs. Sweedle were well enough to get up. "I know who's goin' to
'ave a treat now," she said. Our 'arts leapt. We did 'ope she might be
goin' to say we was to sit down to our breakfasts.

"Grandfer's goin' to be shaved, and not 'ave to pay tuppence out of 'is
poor pension," she said. "There's nobody can shave like a soldier." And
when Jim 'ad got the old man by the nose she said to me, "I can see what
you want to be at, shakin' these mats with your strong arm and savin' me
comin' on giddy."

It were very 'ard at first, but after a bit Jim and me got into the work at
Mrs. Sweedle's and was just able to get through with it, except the mornin'
her brother 'ad a fit when we was racin' to finish the washin'-up. That
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