_Jones_ (_after helping himself_). "THANKS! MAY I POUR YOU OUT SOME?"

_Host._ "PLEASE--NOT TOO MUCH--JUST ABOUT HALF WHAT YOU'VE GIVEN
YOURSELF!"]

* * * * *

THE TRAVELLER.

(_MODERN VERSION BY A GRATEFUL COOK'S TOURIST._)

[Mr. THOMAS COOK, originator of the great "Personally
Conducted" Tourist and Excursionist System, died on Monday the
18th July, aged 84 years.]

"Remote, unfriended, melancholy slow,
Or by the lazy Scheldt, or wandering Po?"
Nay, gentle GOLDSMITH, it is thus no more,
None now need fear "the rude Carinthian boor,"
The bandit Greek, the Swiss of avid grin,
Or e'en the predatory Bedouin.
Where'er we roam, whatever realms to see,
Our thoughts, great Agent, must revert to thee.
From Parthenon or Pyramid, we look
In travelled ease, and bless the name of COOK!
Eternal blessings crown the wanderer's friend!
At Ludgate Hill may all the world attend.
Blest be that spot where the great world instructor
Assumed the _rôle_ of Personal Conductor!
Blest be those "parties," with safe-conduct crowned,