things would not run to it.

They said that I had clearly not fought out the economic aspect of
the question. I said that was how my hair was blanched, with trying to
fight it out, but that, somehow, it always baffled me. I added remarks
about squaring the circle, but they said it was a good deal easier to
square Mr. GLADSTONE. The friends of Total Prohibition of Vaccination
and of Beer were waiting, also a deputation, who wanted subscriptions
for a SHELLEY Memorial, Russian Jews, Maxim guns for Missionaries,
and other benevolent objects. I declined to see _them_, however, and
was left to solitude, and to the reflection that I am unfitted for
the sphere of active politics. In this belief the neighbours are now
pretty generally agreed, which, as I have no keen ambition to shine in
Parliament, is a very fortunate circumstance.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A VICTORY OF THE POLLS.

MENTAL COLLAPSE OF AN ELECTION EDITOR AFTER COMPILING STATISTICS DAY
AND NIGHT FOR THE LAST THREE WEEKS!]

* * * * *

LADY GAY'S SELECTIONS.

_Mount Street, Grosvenor Square._

DEAR MR. PUNCH,