accompaniment of whizzing bullets, and does not appreciate the latter
without the former. The shooting was very uncertain in the first
stage of the Queen's, as the wind was in a variable mood--(is the wind
_feminine_, I wonder?)--going sometimes at eighteen and sometimes
at thirty miles an hour, which was disconcerting and inconsiderate
behaviour (it _must_ be feminine!)--calculated to annoy any
right-minded Volunteer! Indeed, one notoriously good shot, Private
CHICKEN, although a good _plucked_ one--having made six misses in ten
shots--declined to be _roasted_ by his friends, and retired into his
_casserole_--which is French for tent, I believe--while several other
marksmen (why marksmen?) found themselves carefully placing their
bullets on other people's targets.

However, I was much struck with the equanimity with which reverses
were accepted by the members of our gallant Amateur Army, and
intend composing an ode in their honour, to be sung in camp to
the accompaniment of bullets, bagpipes, and brass bands! (more
alliteration for the Midlothian Maltese Marriage Merchant), the
refrain of which will run thus:--

The Volunteer! The Volunteer!!
No matter how the wind may veer!
Will have no fear! and will not sweer! so do not jeer!!! the
Volunteer!!!"

--appropriate _patriotic_ music to which will be written by Signor
CLEMENTI SCHIOTTI!

There is no racing of any importance this week, there being only a
small Meeting under Pic Nic Rules, at a place called Goodwood--(I