These are the continental-trip days. All the world will be now a-_tour_ing.
But every one is not a Dr. Bowring, and it is rather convenient to be able
to edge in a word now and then, when these rascally foreigners will chatter
in their own beastly jargon. Ignorant pigs, not to accustom themselves to
talk decent English! Il Signor Marchese Cantini, the learned and
illustrious author of "Hi, diddlo-diddlino! Il gutto e'l violino!", has
just rendered immense service to the trip-loving natives of these lovely
isles, by preparing a "Guide to Conversation," that for utility and
correctness of idiom surpasses all previous attempts of the same kind. With
it in one hand, and a bagful of Napoléons or Zecchini in the other, the
biggest dunce in London--nay, even a schoolmaster--may travel from Boulogne
to Naples and back, with the utmost satisfaction to himself, and with
substantial profit to the people of these barbarous climes. The following
is a specimen of the way in which Il Signor has accomplished his
undertaking. It will be seen at a glance how well he has united the
classical with the utilitarian principle, clothing both in the purest
dialect; ex. gr.:--

THIS IS ENGLISH. THIS IS FRENCH. THIS IS ITALIAN.

Does your mother know Madame, votre maman, La vostra signora
you're out? sait-elle que vous madre sa che siete
n'êtes pas chez vous? uscito di casa?

It won't do, Mr. Cela nese passera, Questo non fara
Ferguson. Monsieur Ferguson, cosi, il Signore
jamais! Fergusoni!

Who are you? Est-ce que vous aviez Chi è vossignoria?