Ladies who have _lost_ the registries of their birth can be supplied with
new ones, for any year they please, and the greatest care will be taken to
make them accord with the early recollections of the lady's schoolfellows
and cousins of the same age.

Gentlemen who wear wigs, false calves, or artificial teeth, or use
hair-dye, &c., will be required to state the same, as no deception can be
countenanced by Lord J.R.

Ladies are only required to certify as to the originality of their teeth;
and as Lady Russell will attend exclusively to this department, no
disclosure will take place until all other preliminaries are satisfactorily
arranged.

Young gentlemen with large mustachios and small incomes will find the
MATRIMONIAL AGENCY OFFICE well worthy their attention; and young ladies who
play the piano, speak French, and measure only eighteen inches round the
waist, cannot better consult their own interests than by making an early
application.

N.B. None with red hair need apply, unless with a mother's certificate that
it was always considered to be auburn.

Wanted several buxom widows for the commencement. If in weeds, will be
preferred.

* * * * *


"MATTERS IN FACT," AND "MATTERS IN LAW."