that in July, 18--, the said Isaac was gathered unto Abraham's bosom,
leaving behind him--a seat in the House of Commons--a relict--the issue
aforesaid, and £50,000 in the three per cents.

The widow Applebite had so arranged matters with her husband, that
two-thirds of the above sum were left wholly and solely to her, as some
sort of consolation under her bereavement of the "best of husbands and
the kindest of fathers." (_Vide_ monument.) Old Isaac must have been a
treasure, for his wife either missed him so much, or felt so desirous
to learn if there was another man in the world like him, that, as soon
as the monument was completed and placed in Puddingbury chancel, she
married a young officer in a dashing dragoon regiment, and started to
the Continent to spend the honeymoon, leaving her son--

AGAMEMNON COLLUMPSION APPLEBITE (the apoplectic "cherub" and the
"issue" alluded to in the _Parliamentary Guide_), to the care of
himself.

A.C.A. was the pattern of what a young man ought to be. He had 16,000
and odd pounds in the three per cents., hair that curled naturally,
stood five feet nine inches without his shoes, always gave a shilling
to a waiter, lived in a terrace, never stopped out all night (but
once), and paid regularly every Monday morning. Agamemnon Collumpsion
Applebite was a happy bachelor! The women were delighted to see him,
and the men to dine with him: to the one he gave _bouquets_; to the
other, cigars: in short, everybody considered A.C.A. as A1; and A.C.A.
considered that A1 was his proper mark.

It is somewhat singular, but no man knows when he _is_ really happy: he
may fancy that he wants for nothing, and may even persuade himself that