Now whether Uncle John did clearly understand the drift of the question
put to him, or whether he conceived that he was solicited to be the
subject of some benevolent experiments for the advantage of future
generations, it is certain that no man ever looked more positively

[Illustration: ON THE HORN OF A DILEMMA]

than Uncle Peter. At length the true state of the case was made apparent
to him; and the conclusion that he arrived at reflects the greatest
possible credit upon his judgment. He decided, that as the child was a
divided property, for the sake of peace and quietness, the heir of
Applebite should be vaccinated in one arm and inoculated in the other.

* * * * *


FALSE ALARM.

We were paralysed the other day at seeing a paragraph headed "Sibthorpe's
conversion." Our nose grew pale with terror; our hump heaved with
agitation. We thought there existed a greater genius than ourselves and
that some one had discovered that Sibthorp could be converted into
anything but a Member for Lincoln, and buffoon-in-waiting to the House of
Commons. We found, however, that it alluded to a Reverend, and not to OUR
Colonel. Really the newspaper people should be more careful. Such
startling announcements are little better than

[Illustration: SHEE(A)R CRUELTY.]

* * * * *