The first orator was Mr. Julius Jones, who spoke nearly as follows:--

Mither Prethident and thubtheriberth of the Hookam-cum-Sthnivey Sthchool
of Dethign, in rithing to addreth thuch an afthembly ath thith--

Here the confusion became so general that our reporter could catch nothing
further, and as the partisans of Mr. Jones became very much excited, while
the opposition was equally violent, our reporter fearing that, though he
could not catch the speeches, he might possibly catch something else,
effected his retreat as speedily as possible.

* * * * *


QUEER QUERIES.

NOT THE BEST IN THE WORLD.

Why is a man with his eyes shut like an illiterate schoolmaster?--Because
he keeps his pupils in darkness.

BETTER NEXT TIME.

Why is the present Lord Chancellor wickeder than the last?--Because he's
got two more Vices.

FORGIVE US THIS ONCE.

Why are abbots the greatest dunces in the world?--Because they never get
further than their _Abbacy_ (A, B, C.)