Muff, how do you define an ulcer?"

"The establishment of a raw," replies Mr. Muff.

"Tit! tit! tit!" continues the teacher, with an expression of pity. "Mr.
Simpson, perhaps you can tell Mr. Muff what an ulcer is?"

"An abrasion of the cuticle produced by its own absorption," answers Mr.
Simpson, all in a breath.

"Well. I maintain it's easier to say a _raw_ than all that," observes Mr.
Muff.

"Pray, silence. Mr. Manhug, have you ever been sent for to a bad incised
wound?"

"Yes, sir, when I was an apprentice: a man using a chopper cut off his
hand."

"And what did you do?"

"Cut off myself for the governor, like a two-year old."

"But now you have no governor, what plan would you pursue in a similar
case?"

"Send for the nearest doctor--call him in."

"Yes, yes, but suppose he wouldn't come?"