off one shoulder.

A Judge who can resist the temptation to utter feeble witticisms, and
to fall asleep.

A Witness who answers questions, and incidentally tells the truth.

A Jury who do not look supremely silly, and ridiculously
self-conscious, when directly addressed or appealed to by Counsel;
or one that really understands that the Judge's politeness is only
another and subtle form of self-glorification.

A Q.C. who is not "eminent," who does not behave "nobly," and who can
avoid the formula "I suggest to you," in cross-examination; or one
that does not thunder from a lofty and inaccessible moral altitude so
soon as a nervous Witness blunders or contradicts himself.

An Usher who does not try to induce the general public, especially the
female portion thereof, to mistake him for the Lord Chancellor.

A Solicitor who does not strive to appear _coram populo_ on terms of
quite unnecessarily familiar intercourse with his leading Counsel.

An Articled Clerk who does not dress beyond his thirty shillings
a-week, and think that the whole Court is lost in speculation as to
the identity of that distinguished-looking young man.

An Associate who does not go into ecstasies of merriment over every
joke or _obiter dictum_ from the Bench.