The precept is sound, and its due application
Is fraught with undoubted advantage to some,
But I'm free to remark that my own situation
Represents a recalcitrant re-sidu-um;
Clocks I cannot abide with their truculent ticking--
A nuisance I always have striven to scotch--
And I gain very little assistance in sticking
To work, if I'm watching my watch.

For my watch, which I treasure with ardent affection--
'Twas given to me in my juvenile prime--
Exhibits a truly uncanny objection
To keeping an accurate count of the time;
In the matter of speed it's a regular sprinter;
Repairs are a farce; it invariably gains;
And in Spring and in Autumn, in Summer and Winter
Precision it never attains.

Mathematics to me are a terrible trial,
They plague me in age as they floored me in youth,
Or I might, when observing the hour on my dial,
Allow for the error and guess at the truth.
Then why do I keep it? Because it's a mascot,
And none of its vices can alter the fact
That the very first day that I wore it, at Ascot,
Three winners I happily backed.

* * * * *

"The annual meeting of the Court of Governors of the University of