_Clerk._ "YES SIR. LORD DEVONPORT, SIR."]

* * * * *

THE FLOWERLESS FUTURE.

(_Notes from a Society newspaper of the coming vegetable epoch._)

PERSONAL PARS.

We regret to learn that Lady Diana Dashweed has returned from Nice
suffering from nervous shock. During a battle of vegetables at the recent
carnival Lady Diana, while in the act of aiming a tomato at a well-known
peer, was struck on the head by a fourteen-pound marrow hurled by some
unknown admirer. There is unfortunately a growing tendency at these
festivities to use missiles over the regulation weight.

* * * * *

A daring innovation was made by last Wednesday's bride. One has become so
accustomed to the orthodox cauliflower bouquet at weddings that it came
almost as a shock to see her holding a huge bunch of rich crimson
beetroots, tied with old-gold streamers. The effect however was altogether
delightful.

* * * * *

The decorations for a particularly smart "pink-and-white" dinner at one of
our smartest restaurants last evening were charmingly carried out in spring