trouble to stand up and sing for them? Oh, you'll make me so wild, I
shall begin spittin' 'alf-sovereigns directly--I _know_ I shall! (_A
little Girl in a sun-bonnet comes forward._) Ah, 'ere's a young lady
who's bustin' with melody, _I_ can see. Your name, my dear? Ladies
and Gentleman, I have the pleasure to announce that Miss CONNIE COCKLE
will now appear. Don't curtsey till the Orchestra gives the chord.
(_Chord from the harmonium--the Child advances, and curtsies with much
aplomb._) Oh, lor! call _that_ a curtsey--that's a _cramp_, that
is! Do it all over again! (_The Child obeys, disconcerted._) That's
_worse_! I can see the s'rimps blushin' for yer inside their paper
bags! Now see Me do it. (Bones _executes a caricature of a curtsey,
which the little Girl copies with terrible fidelity_.) That's
_ladylike_--that's genteel. Now sing _out! (The Child sings the first
verse of a popular Music-hall song, in a squeaky little voice._) Talk
about nightingales! Come 'ere, and receive the reward for extinguished
incapacity. On your knees! (_The little Girl kneels before him while
a tin medal is fastened upon her frock._) Rise, Sir CONNIE COCKLE! Oh,
you _lucky_ girl!

_The Child returns, swelling with triumph, to her companions,
several of whom come out, and go through the same performance,
with more or less squeakiness and self-possession._

_First Admiring Matron_ (_in audience_). I do like to see the children
kep' out o' mischief like this, instead o' goin' paddling and messing
about the sands!

_Second Ad. Mat._ Just what _I_ say, my dear--they're amused and
edjucated 'ow to beyave at the same time!