_Alf._ (_rejoining his fiancée with a grimy face, a smashed hat, and a
pathetic attempt at a grin_). Well? I _done_ it, you see!

_Miss S._ (_crushingly_). Yes, you _have_ done it! And the best thing
you can do now, is to go home and wash your face. _I_ don't care to
be seen about with a _laughing-stock_, I can assure you! I've had my
dignity lowered quite enough as it is!

_Alf_. But look 'ere, my dear girl, I can't leave you here all by
yourself, you know!

_Miss S._ I daresay Mr. PERKINS will take care of me.

[_Mr. P. assents, with effusion._

_Alf._ (_watching them move away--with bitterness_). I wish
all Niggers were put down by Act of Parliament, I do! Downright
noosances--that's what _they_ are!

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

[Illustration: Ulysses on Tour.]

Ulysses has been travelling again, and the record of his journeyings
is set forth in _The Modern Odyssey_, which CASSELL & Co. publish in
one volume, with some charming illustrations in callotype.

My Baronite notes a quaint disposition on the part of the old