talking through its nose.]

1. Noon, by the north clock! Noon, by the east! High noon, too, by those
hot sunbeams which fall, scarcely aslope, upon my head, and almost make
the water bubble and smoke in the trough under my nose. Truly, we public
characters have a tough time of it! And among all the town officers,
chosen at the yearly meeting, where is he that sustains, for a single
year, the burden of such manifold duties as are imposed, in perpetuity,
upon the Town Pump?

2. The title of town treasurer is rightfully mine, as guardian of the best
treasure the town has. The overseers of the poor ought to make me their
chairman, since I provide bountifully for the pauper, without expense to
him that pays taxes. I am at the head of the fire department, and one of
the physicians of the board of health. As a keeper or the peace, all water
drinkers confess me equal to the constable. I perform some of the duties
of the town clerk, by promulgating public notices, when they are pasted on
my front.

3. To speak within bounds, I am chief person of the municipality, and
exhibit, moreover, an admirable pattern to my brother officers by the
cool, steady, upright, downright, and impartial discharge of my business,
and the constancy with which I stand to my post. Summer or winter, nobody
seeks me in vain; for all day long I am seen at the busiest corner, just
above the market, stretching out my arms to rich and poor alike; and at
night I hold a lantern over my head, to show where I am, and to keep
people out of the gutters.

4. At this sultry noontide, I am cupbearer to the parched populace, for
whose benefit an iron goblet is chained to my waist Like a dramseller on