And there's our worship of the purse;
'Gainst _it_ pray have a tilt
Oh, gild our manners! But take care
They are not silver-gilt!

* * * * *

ALL AT SEA.--The KAISER is reported to be so delighted with his visit
to the Isle of Wight, that he proposes to repeat the journey next
year. Fond of military display, if he goes to Hyde he will be
appropriately accompanied by an escort of German Mounted Marines.

* * * * *

[Illustration: INTERNATIONAL AMENITIES.

_Count Peter van Strubel_ (_just arrived in England, in time for
Her Grace's Concert_). "ACH! TOTCHESS! HOW IS IT ZAT IN ENKLAND YOUR
LATIES ARE ZÔH _PEAUDIFUL_, AND YOUR CHENDLEMEN ZÔH _OCKLY_?"

_Her Grace._ "TO-NIGHT NEARLY ALL THE LADIES ARE ENGLISH, COUNT, AND
THE GENTLEMEN ARE MOSTLY FOREIGN, AS IT HAPPENS!"]

* * * * *

READING THE STARS À LA MODE.

(_EXTRACT FROM THE NOTE-BOOK OF THE SECRETARY OF THE EARTH AND MARS
INTERCOMMUNICATION COMPANY, LIMITED._)