_Exam._ (_nothing daunted_). Can you tell me the name of the spot
which is supposed to be the centre of the universe?

_Can._ I haven't the faintest idea, but suppose you mean Monte Carlo.

_Exam._ (_as a last resource_). Do you know anything about Law?

_Can._ Nothing at all, except that one of my friends had to pay five
pounds, the other day, for assaulting a Policeman.

_Exam._ (_losing his temper_). Then what on earth _do_ you know?

_Can._ Only how to break the record of the quarter mile.

_Exam._ (_brightening up_). And can you play Cricket?

_Can._ (_contemptuously_). _Can_ I play Cricket! Why I carried my bat
out for 184 against Loamshire, with GRACE bowling his swiftest.

_Exam._ (_cordially grasping his hand_). My dear Sir, after the
satisfactory examination you have just undergone, I shall have much
pleasure in recommending you for a Scholarship.

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Commons, Monday, Aug_. 8.--Think I mentioned, just before