I have just got to bring this to a close now, if I have it ready as I
promised, for the lecture, "Watch Your Weight!" I am glad of it, too. I
am getting so ... funny it is painful. I will close with the next
chapter. It will be beautifully scientific, but not funny, I promise.


_Some Amendments_

[Sidenote: _No. 1_]

You perhaps have noticed that my first chapter is called "Preliminary
Bout," and then I have gone on to describe a club meeting. I am aware
that P.B. is a prize fighting term, and I meant it for the picture of me
fighting myself, not for the club meeting. I have attended many club
meetings, and in none of them have I ever seen any fighting that would
have taken any prize anywhere, although I will say I have seen and have
myself personally conducted some very classy stuff.

[Sidenote: _No. 2_]

I do not use slang. I use only the purest, most refined, and cultured
English. I leave slang to those who can get by with it and put it over.
So where I have used dashes you may use your favorite slang words. Mine
were deleted by the censors.

[Sidenote: _No. 3 (a)_]

Mrs. Ima Gobbler is not really fat enough to be called a fat--! She is
only 40 or 50 pounds overweight, but she is fond of me and I took