Elder Bawker with his difficulties in locomotion.

Rogers, who carried the students' washing home to his wife on Sunday
afternoons for a preliminary soak. The minister seeing him thus
engaged, stopped him, and inquired:

"Where do you think you will go to if you so constantly desecrate the
Holy Sabbath?"

"Guess I'll go right on doing laundry work for the boys."

The aged janitor who, in a brief scare about smallpox, was asked if he
had ever had it: "No, but I've had chances."

An old sinner who, being converted, used to serve as a lay evangelist
at the district schoolhouse where in winter religious meetings were
held. Roguish lads to test him sprinkled red pepper, a lot of it, on
the red hot stove. He almost suffocated, but burst out with: "By God,
there's enemies to religion in this house! Hist the winders!"

The rubicund butcher of that period (we had no choice) was asked by a
long-time patron how he got such a red face. "Cider apple sass." The
same patron said, "You have served me pretty well, but cheated me a
good deal." "Yes, sir, but you have no idea how much I've cheated
you."

Our one milliner, positively brilliant in her remarks, when a lady
sent back her bonnet twice on the ground that it was not becoming,
said, "Remember you have your face to contend with."