At the end of two years I sent word to my uncle, asking him to come to see
me; and when he had come and sat down, I asked my mother and my sisters to
leave the lodge, and when they had gone I spoke to my uncle. "Father, you
have seen how it has been with me for two years; that I am no longer able
to go about; that I am a cripple, lying here day after day, useless to my
relations, and very unhappy. Now, I have thought of this for a long time,
and I have made up my mind what I shall do. It is time for me to go off
with some of the young men on the warpath, and when we meet the enemy, I
will ride straight into the midst of them, and will strike one, and he
shall kill me. I am no longer glad to live, and it will be well for me to
die bravely."

For a long time my uncle said nothing, but sat there looking at the ground.
After he had thought, he raised his head and spoke to me, saying: "Son, you
can remember how it has been with us since you were a little boy. You have
been my son, and I have loved you. I have been glad when you went to war,
and glad when you returned with credit; yet I should not have mourned if
you had been killed in battle, for that is the way a man ought to die. I
have seen your sufferings now for two years, and I know how you feel. I
think that it will be well for you to do as you have said, and for you to
give your body to the enemy, and to be killed on the open prairie, where
the birds and the beasts may feed on your flesh, and may scatter it over
the plain. Now, when you are ready to do this, tell me, so that I may see
that you go to war as becomes a warrior who is about to die."

It was not very long after this that a party of young men set out to war,
all mounted, to go south to look for the Utes. Among them was the one who
had been my close friend, and to him I had told what was in my mind; and
when I spoke to the leader of the party, he was glad to have me go with
him, as were all of them.