my country invitations haven't come in.

_Capel Courtney._ Because those beastly bucket-shops have collared all
our business.

_Bumpshus, M.P._ Because the Lords of the Treasury (shabby crew
of place-hunters) declined to adopt my suggestion, and to place a
trooper, thoroughly well found, victualled, and overhauled, at the
disposal of any Members of the Lower House whose profound sense of
duty, and of the importance of the Imperial Federation idea, impelled
them to take a six-months' trip round the world at the nation's
expense.

_Theodore John Hook Straight._ Because of the old trouble--"got a
complaint in the chest."

* * * * *

[Illustration: PHILLIPOPOLIS.

_Toper Major_ (_over their third bottle of a Grand Vin_). I shay,
ol' f'ler, neksh year thinksh'll go see ex'bishun at Ph-Phipp--at
Philup-popple--

_Toper Minor._ I know, ol'f'ler. You mean Philipoppoppo--poppo--

_Toper Major._ Thatsh it--shame place. Have 'nother bo'l!

[_They drink._]