such a past, such a history? and yet I am ready to quarrel with
perfection, I who can never be grateful enough! A little wealth and
the love of a charming woman--what more can I possibly desire? It is
strange how soon one becomes accustomed to changes in life, and how
quickly an emotion fades into a memory. If I could but feel as I felt
when I was struggling along battling with the hundred and one
difficulties which beset the path of a poor man, instead of having to
remind myself perpetually what my emotions were then, there would be
some excitement in the contrast. I--I wonder--what she is doing? Is
she alive or is she dead? What does it matter? But at times the doubt
will come whether--no, no; it is wicked--I was always good to her. I
loved her, and she dishonoured me. The book is closed for ever, and I
am weak when I reopen it."




CHAPTER V.


Since the thing was to be, there was nothing to be gained by
postponement. So decided the Duchess, and however fond of airing her
own sentiments and securing her own way Lady Ethel might be, on
ordinary occasions, for once she raised no objection. She was
perfectly willing that her marriage with Sir John Chetwynd should
take place at once. Perhaps in her home Lady Ethel was not quite the
plastic lay figure she was wont to appear in public, and the Duchess
had spoken to her most intimate and confidential friends of the
approaching nuptials with almost a sigh of relief, and a whispered
word.