(_With apologies to the seers of the Sunday papers_.)

A great port was swathed in bunting last week. I was there, but I must
not say what caused this outburst of enthusiasm. But even the Censor
can scarcely forbid my hinting that it was connected with a naval
success of peculiar brilliance which must be suppressed because we
wish to keep the Bosches guessing.

* * * * *

Who was in Switzerland when he was regularly reported as being in
attendance at War Council meetings? Who was actually supposed to have
addressed a public meeting in England when in reality he was hundreds
of miles away? I make no statement; I merely write the word "Austria."
To those who understand it will be enough.

* * * * *

Have you noticed that for some weeks we have had no news from the Port
of Danzig? I draw no deduction, but do not be surprised to hear in a
few weeks that the Port of Danzig has ceased to exist.

* * * * *

There is grave trouble at Scotland Yard. A Hun Colonel captured at
Arras was found to have in his pocket a receipted bill from a London
hotel of the previous week's date. It would surprise you very much
if I told you at which hotel "Mr. Perkins" stayed and what guests he
entertained there.