perfectly equipped."--_The Daily News on "Why Young Men Don't
Marry."_]

The Tater and the Heptarchy
Were walking hand-in-hand;
They wept like "first-night" Stalls to see
The folly of the land;
"If fools would not talk fiddlededee,"
They said "it _would_ be grand!"

"If modest maids with towzled mops
On _you_ and _me_ were clear,
Do you suppose," the Tater said,
"More men would wed each year?"
"I doubt it," said the Heptarchy--
"They only mean to sneer!

"'O Maidens, come and cook for us!'
They--shamming love--beseech.
'Oh, tell us about Saxon times!
The course of history teach!'
But what they really want is 'tin;'
A thumping share for each.

"A girl may cook like any _chef_,
And know all HALLAM through,
May be a dab at darning socks,
Or making Irish stew;
But what young cubs care for is cash,
And not for me _or_ you.