"Here you big loafer!" shouted the angry shopkeeper, when he had
regained his breath. "You have broken my window!"

"I sure have," admitted the Celt, "and didn't you see me running home
to get the money to pay for it?"


There was a man who fancied that by driving good and fast
He'd get his car across the track before the train came past;
He'd miss the engine by an inch, and make the train-hands sore.
There was a man who fancied this; there isn't any more.




ACCURACY


In one of the industrial towns in South Wales a workman met with a
serious accident. The doctor was sent for, and came and examined
him, had him bandaged and carried home on a stretcher, seemingly
unconscious.

After he was put to bed the doctor told his wife to give him
sixpennyworth of brandy when he came to himself. After the doctor had
left the wife told the daughter to run and fetch threepennyworth of
brandy for her father.

The old chap opened his eyes and said, in a loud voice: "Sixpenn'orth,