AUTHORSHIP


TED--"I was tempted to read his book by the advertisements, but I was
disappointed."

NED--"That's only natural. The advertisements are better written than
the book."




AUTOMOBILE TOURISTS


"Why do you turn out for every road hog that comes along?" said the
missus, rather crossly. "The right of way is ours, isn't it?"

"Oh, undoubtedly!" answered he, calmly. "As for our turning out,
the reason is plainly suggested in this epitaph which appeared in a
newspaper recently:

"Here lies the body of William Jay,
Who died maintaining his right of way;
He was right, dead right, as he sped along,
But he's just as dead as if he'd been wrong."