More Toasts by Unknown
page 67 of 1010 (06%)
page 67 of 1010 (06%)
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An automobile show is a place to which car owners go to hear the exhibitors confirm their judgment. "I've stopped riding horseback and got a second-hand car." "Need more exercise?" "I suppose you think I'm foolish enough to buy that broken-down old automobile!" "Broken-down nothing! With the exception of a busted drive-shaft, a cracked crank-case, a loose steering-wheel, a bum battery, a dilapidated differential and faulty ignition, it is just as good as new. Outside of buying four sets of tires, three new springs, a new top, two rear axles, a couple of batteries, having the valves ground sixteen times, the clutch tightened every week and the self-starter repaired now and then, I have never spent one cent for repairs. The old boat hasn't been run a mile over one hundred thousand, will average fourteen gallons to the mile, and absolutely will not exceed twenty-five miles an hour. It has an extra-fine new coat of paint, and is fully equipped with a hand pump and switch-key. Because of the difficulty in shifting gears, I absolutely guarantee your wife will never be able to drive it, and--" "Never mind the rest. I'll take it!" |
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