[Illustration: _Recruit_ (_with exercising party_). "IF I LETS THE
BLIGHTERS GO THE CORPORAL'LL CUSS ME INTO 'EAPS. AN' IF I 'OLDS ON TO
'EM I'LL BREAK MY BLINKIN' NECK!"]

* * * * *

THE END OF THE STORY.

"Will the soldier who assisted the Gentleman with a motor
cycle and sidecar on the Downs on Tuesday communicate with him
at Greenbank Cemetery."--_Bristol Evening News_.

* * * * *

"Harry Wilson, milkman, of Devonport, has no connection of
any kind with Woodrow Wilson, of United States of
America."_Auckland Paper_.

HARRY is now sorry he wrote.

* * * * *

"The daily rations of the shirkers are:--
Bread . . . . . . . . . . . 9 oz.
(uncooked, including bone)."
_Daily Mail_.

The conscientious objector doesn't seem to be having such a soft time
after all.