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Jorrocks' Jaunts and Jollities by Robert Smith Surtees
page 147 of 276 (53%)
for me." "So you did 'em," observes Mr. Bangup. "Lord bless ye, yes! it
warn't to no use aggravising about it, for says I, I von't stand it, so
it warn't to no manner of use harnessing of him again for me." "Come,
Smith, what are you chaffing there about?" inquires the landlord, coming
out with the wide-spread way-bill in his hands, "have you two insides?"
"No, gov'rnor, I has but von, and that's precious empty, haw! haw! haw!"
"Well, but now get Brown to blow his horn early, and you help to hurry
the passengers away from my grub, and may be I'll give you your dinner
for your trouble," replies the landlord, reckoning he would save both
his meat and his horses by the experiment. "Ay, there goes the dinner!"
added he, just as Mr. Jorrocks's voice was heard inside the "Pig and
Crossbow," giving a most tremendous roar for his food.--"Pork at the
top, and pork at the bottom," the host observes to the waiter in
passing, "and mind, put the joints before the women--they are slow
carvers."

While the foregoing scene was enacting outside, our travellers had been
driven through the passage into a little, dark, dingy room at the back
of the house, with a dirty, rain-bespattered window, looking against a
whitewashed blank wall. The table, which was covered with a thrice-used
cloth, was set out with lumps of bread, knives, and two and three
pronged forks laid alternately. Altogether it was anything but inviting,
but coach passengers are very complacent; and on the Dover road it
matters little if they are not. The bustle of preparation was soon over.
Coats No. 1, No. 2, and No. 3, are taken off in succession, for some
people wear top-coats to keep out the "heat"; chins are released from
their silken jeopardy, hats are hid in corners, and fur caps thrust
into pockets of the owners. Inside passengers eye outside ones with
suspicion, while a deaf gentleman, who has left his trumpet in the
coach, meets an acquaintance whom he has not seen for seven years,
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