"There is an appeal of Jorrocks against Cheatum, which we, the bench of
magistrates of our lord the king, will take if the parties are ready,"
and immediately the court rang with "Jorrocks and Cheatum! Jorrocks and
Cheatum! Mr. Capias, attorney-at-law! Mr. Capias answer to his name! Mr.
Sharp attorney-at-law! Mr. Sharp's in the jury-room.--Then go fetch him
directly," from the ushers and bailiffs of the court; for though Tomkins
of Tomkins was slow himself, he insisted upon others being quick, and
was a great hand at prating about saving the time of the suitors. At
length the bustle of counsel crossing the table, parties coming in
and others leaving court, bailiffs shouting, and ushers responding,
gradually subsided into a whisper of, "That's Jorrocks! That's Cheatum!"
as the belligerent parties took their places by their respective
counsel. Silence having been called and procured, Mr. Smirk, a
goodish-looking man for a lawyer, having deliberately unfolded his
brief, which his clerk had scored plentifully in the margin, to make the
attorney believe he had read it very attentively, rose to address the
court--a signal for half the magistrates to pull their newspapers out of
their pockets, and the other half to settle themselves down for a nap,
all the sport being considered over when the affiliation cases closed.

"I have the honour to appear on behalf of Mr. Jorrocks," said Mr.
Smirk, "a gentleman of the very highest consideration--a fox-hunter--a
shooter--and a grocer. In ordinary cases it might be necessary to prove
the party's claim to respectability, but, in this instance, I feel
myself relieved from any such obligation, knowing, as I do, that there
is no one in this court, no one in these realms--I might almost add,
no one in this world--to whom the fame of my most respectable, my most
distinguished, and much injured client is unknown. Not to know JORROCKS
is indeed to argue oneself unknown."