fire was placed the breakfast table; in the centre stood a magnificent
uncut ham, with a great quartern loaf on one side and a huge Bologna
sausage on the other; besides these there were nine eggs, two pyramids
of muffins, a great deal of toast, a dozen ship-biscuits, and half a
pork-pie, while a dozen kidneys were spluttering on a spit before the
fire, and Betsy held a gridiron covered with mutton-chops on the top;
altogether there was as much as would have served ten people. "Now, sit
down," said Jorrocks, "and let us be doing, for I am as hungry as
a hunter. Hope you are peckish too; what shall I give you? tea or
coffee?--but take both--coffee first and tea after a bit. If I can't
give you them good, don't know who can. You must pay your devours, as we
say in France, to the 'am, for it is an especial fine one, and do take
a few eggs with it; there, I've not given you above a pound of 'am, but
you can come again, you know--waste not want not. Now take some muffins,
do, pray. Batsey, bring some more cream, and set the kidneys on the
table, the Yorkshireman is getting nothing to eat. Have a chop with
your kidney, werry luxterous--I could eat an elephant stuffed with
grenadiers, and wash them down with a ocean of tea; but pray lay in to
the breakfast, or I shall think you don't like it. There, now take some
tea and toast or one of those biscuits, or whatever you like; would a
little more 'am be agreeable? Batsey, run into the larder and see if
your Missis left any of that cold chine of pork last night--and hear,
bring the cold goose, and any cold flesh you can lay hands on, there are
really no wittles on the table. I am quite ashamed to set you down to
such a scanty fork breakfast; but this is what comes of not being master
of your own house. Hope your hat may long cover your family: rely
upon it, it is cheaper to buy your bacon than to keep a pig". Just as
Jorrocks uttered these last words the side door opened, and without
either "with your leave or by your leave", in bounced Mrs. Jorrocks in
an elegant dishabille (or "dish-of-veal", as Jorrocks pronounced it),