back was attended with some little drawback, inasmuch as it was
conditional upon paying to Dr. Chase the sum of $20,000 for the goodwill,
etc., of his hotel, farm, and appurtenances, or procuring a purchaser for
them at that figure, which was, as a matter of course, a ridiculously low
one. Two damsels who assisted Dr. Chase in ministering to the wants of
his guests at dinner had a very appalling manner of presenting to the
frightened feeder his choice of viands. The solemn silence which usually
pervades the dinner-table of an American hotel was nowhere more
observable than in this Doctor's establishment; whether it was from the
fact that each guest suffered under a painful knowledge of the superhuman
efforts which the Doctor was making for his or her benefit, I cannot say;
but I never witnessed the proverbially frightened appearance of the
American people at meals to such a degree as at the dinner-table of the
Sauk Hotel. When the damsels before alluded to commenced their
peregrinations round the table, giving in terribly terse language the
choice of meats, the solemnity of the proceeding could not have been
exceeded. "Pork or beef?" "Pork," would answer the trembling feeder;
"Beef or pork?" "Beef," would again reply the guest, grasping eagerly at
the first name which struck upon his ear. But when the second course came
round the damsels presented us with a choice of a very mysterious nature
indeed. I dimly heard two names being uttered into the ears of my
fellow-eaters, and I just had time to notice the paralyzing effect which
the communication appeared to have upon them, when presently over my own
shoulder I heard the mystic sound-I regret to say that at first these
sounds entirely failed to present to my mind any idea of food or
sustenance of known description, I therefore begged for a repetition of
the words; this time there was no mistake about it, "Steam-pudding or
pumpkin-pie?" echoed the maiden, giving me the terrible alternative in
her most cutting tones; "Both!" I ejaculated, with equal distinctness,
but, I believe, audacity unparalleled since the times of Twist. The