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Letters to a Daughter and A Little Sermon to School Girls by Helen Ekin Starrett
page 5 of 65 (07%)
And now you will see what I mean by saying that the root of good
manners is good behavior. In other words, good manners have their time
and living root in moral qualities and the Christian graces. There is a
certain surface display of manners which may be acquired and which may
deceive and pass with those who do not know us intimately; but there is
all the difference between such superficial good manners and those which
are real, that there is between the cut bouquet of flowers which
delights for an hour or two and then withers away, and the living,
growing plant which constantly delights us with fresh beauty and bloom.

What are the characteristics of the agreeable and beautiful manners that
are the ornament and charm of the well-behaved girl? First we should
place gentleness, quietness, and serenity or self-possession. It has
been well said by an observing social critic, that the person who has
no manners at all has good manners. What is meant by this, and there is
a deep truth in it, is that gentle and quiet manners do not attract
attention at all. Their greatest charm is their unobtrusiveness, just as
the charm and distinguishing mark of a well-dressed person is that the
dress is not striking or obtrusive. You can infer from this how
inconsistent with good manners is heat and exaggeration in conversation.
It is a just complaint among refined and cultivated people that many,
even of the well-educated young women of the present day, talk too
loudly and vehemently; are given to exaggeration of statement and slang
expressions. The greatest blemish of the conversation and manners of the
young people of to-day is obtrusiveness and exaggeration. By
obtrusiveness I mean a style of speech and manners that attracts
attention and remark; by exaggeration I mean the too constant use of
the superlative in conversation, and a certain incongruity and
inappropriateness of expression which is very offensive to the
cultivated taste. Such expressions as "perfectly awful," "perfectly
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