to familiarize ourselves with rules for conduct or expression. Suppose,
for instance we know we are liable to give way to bad tempers and to
speak hastily and harshly. We may even feel that it is a relief to speak
thus hastily or harshly, but if we _will_ to control our tempers we may
find a great help in resolving never to speak in a loud or harsh tone of
voice. You all know that the scolding or quarreling tone of voice is
loud and harsh. If we resolve never to allow ourselves to use this tone,
it will help us to control our tempers, and it will also be an
obedience to one of the rules of good manners.

We call a well-mannered person a cultivated person; and this culture
consists mainly in kindness and gentleness of manner, in self-restraint,
and in unobtrusiveness The real reason for every true rule of good
manners is some moral reason. The true reason why we are forbidden by
good manners to do certain things is that the doing of such things gives
pain or causes inconvenience to some one. Why do the rules of good
manners forbid the slamming of doors, or noisy running along halls or up
and down stairs, or loud talking or boisterous laughter? Because such
noises inflict pain on those who hear them, if they are of refined
sensibilities. For the same reason it is bad manners to drum on a piano,
or to drum on table or desk or chair, or to shuffle the feet, or to make
any noise that distracts or obtrudes. Why is it bad manners to come
late to meals, to be unpunctual, to keep people waiting? Because we
inflict pain and inconvenience upon those who are in a certain measure
dependent for their comfort on our promptness and punctuality. Why is it
bad manners to sprawl in one's seat, to assume ungainly attitudes, to
make grimaces, or to munch peanuts or apples in the cars or in public
places? For the same reason. We make those who witness such conduct
uncomfortable, and inflict pain upon them.