LETTER LVIII.


Victory, March 9th, 1805.

I do assure you, my Dearest Emma, that nothing can be more miserable,
or unhappy, than your poor Nelson.

From the 19th of February, have we been beating from Malta to off
Palma; where I am now anchored, the wind and sea being so very
contrary and bad. But I cannot help myself, and no one in the fleet
can feel what I do: and, to mend my fate, yesterday Captain Layman
arrived--to my great surprise--not in his brig, but in a Spanish
cartel; he having been wrecked off Cadiz, and lost all the dispatches
and letters.

You will conceive my disappointment! It is now from November 2d, that
I have had a line from England.

Captain Layman says--he is sure the letters are sunk, never to rise
again; but, as they were not thrown overboard until the vessel struck
the rock, I have much fear that they may have fallen into the hands of
the Dons.

My reports from off Toulon, state the French fleet as still in port;
but, I shall ever be uneasy at not having fallen in with them.

I know, my dear Emma, that it is in vain to repine; but my feelings
are alive to meeting those fellows, after near two years hard service.