"No, thanks," replied Sword, grimly; "when it comes to close quarters,
we find ink not quite so useful as gunpowder!"

* * * * *

SUGGESTION FOR AN OUTSIDE ADVERTISEMENT TO BE DISPLAYED AT THE DOOR OF
THE STRAND THEATER.--"_Niobe_ all tiers" (full).

* * * * *

BRIEF INTERVIEW.

"And," asked our deferential Interviewer, "what did your Lordship
reply to the deputation about Uganda?"

Lord ROSEBERY at once answered, "I said little, but I--"

"_Ment-more_," interrupted the Private Secretary, sticking a label on
his Lordship's travelling bag.

"Quite so," said Lord ROSEBERY, and off he went.

* * * * *

BAD FOR WOULD-BE "ENGLISH WIVES"--It is reported that "Yankee Girls
and American Belles were the feature of the Miscellaneous Market."
This should put our young men on their mettle--tin, of course, for
choice. No reasonable offer refused.

* * * * *