You have to _dress_ such a lot there, y' know, and I like to come out
just as I am!

[_The conversation, notwithstanding its brilliancy, is
beginning to flag--when the car is boarded by a stalwart
good-looking man, carrying a banjo, and wearing a leather
shoulder-belt with "GREEN the Guide" in brass letters upon
it; the Elderly Gentleman, and most of the Ladies welcome
him with effusion, while the Younger Men appear to resent
his appearance._

_The Mor. M._ (_sotto voce_). If he's going to play that old
instrument of torture, I shall _howl_, that's all!

_Green the Guide_ (_in a deep baritone voice_). Well, Ladies
and Gentlemen, I congratulate you upon having a fine day for our
excursion. My glass went up three feet this morning.

_The Morose Man_ (_aggressively_). Was there whiskey inside it?

_Green the Guide_. No, Sir, it would have gone down suddenly if there
had been. (_The_ Elderly G. _asks for a song_.) I shall be delighted
to entertain you to the best of my ability. What would you like to
have?

_The Mor. M._ None of your songs--give us an imitation--of a deaf and
dumb man.

_Green the G._ (_with perfect good-humour_). I shall be happy to do
the deaf man, Sir,--if you'll help me by doing the dumb. (_The_ Mor.