"You 'ear a lot," sez little Digger Smith,
"About 'ow English swells is so stand-off.
Don't yeh believe it; it's a silly myth.
I've been reel cobbers with the British toff
While I'm on leaf; for Blighty liked our crowd,
An' done us proud.

"Us Aussies was the goods in London town
When I was there. If they jist twigged yer 'at
The Dooks would ask yeh could yeh keep one down,
An' Earls would 'ang out 'Welcome' on the mat,
An' sling yeh invites to their stately 'alls
For fancy balls.

"This Duchess--I ain't quite sure uv 'er rank;
She might uv been a Peeress. I dunno.
I meets 'er 'usband first. 'E owns a bank,
I 'eard, an' 'arf a dozen mints or so.
A dinkum toff. 'E sez, 'Come 'ome with me
An' 'ave some tea.'

"That's 'ow I met this Duchess Wot's-'er-name--
Or Countess--never mind 'er moniker;
I ain't no 'and at this 'ere title game--
An' right away, I was reel pals with 'er.
'Now, tell me all about yer 'ome,' sez she,
An' smiles at me.

"That knocks me out. I know it ain't no good
Paintin' word-picters uv the things I done