I've seen 'em whisperin' up in our room.
Now they wants me to join in the debate;
But, "Nix," I tells 'em. "I ain't in the boom,
An' Digger Smith ain't risin' to me bait;
'E's fur too fly a fish for me to catch,
An' two designin' women ain't 'is match."

I puts me foot down firm, an' tells 'em, No!
Their silly plan's a thing I wouldn't touch.
An' then me wife, for 'arf an hour or so,
Talks to me confident, of nothin' much;
Then, 'fore I know it, I am all red 'ot
Into the scheme, an' leader uv the plot.

'Twas Mar Flood starts it. She got 'old uv 'im--
You know the way they 'ave with poor, weak men--
She drops a tear or two concernin' Jim;
Tells 'im wot women 'ave to bear; an' then
She got 'im talkin', like a woman can.
'E never would 'ave squeaked to any man.

She leads 'im on--It's crook the way they scheme
To talk about this girl 'e's left be'ind.
Not that she's pryin'! Why, she wouldn't dream!--
But speakin' uv it might jist ease 'is mind.
Then, 'fore 'e knows, 'e's told, to 'is su'prise,
Name an' address--an' colour uv 'er eyes!

An' then she's off 'ere plottin' with Doreen--
Bustin' a confidence, I tells 'em, flat.