I wonders 'ow the women works that blind,
An' jist waves back; then goes inside to find
A lookin'-glass, an' takes a reel good look. . . .
"'Not quite so 'an'some, p'r'aps, nor so refined!'
Gawd 'elp yeh, Jim," I thinks. "Yeh must be crook."




II. DUMMY BRIDGE


Dummy Bridge

"IF I'd 'a' played me Jack on that there Ten,"
Sez Peter Begg, "I might 'a' made the lot."
"'Ow could yeh?" barks ole Poole. "'Ow' could yeh, when
I 'ad me Queen be'ind?" Sez Begg, "Wot rot!
I slung away me King to take that trick.
Which one! Say, ain't yer 'ead a trifle thick?

"Now, don't yeh see that when I plays me King
I give yer Queen a chance, an' lost the slam."
But Poole, 'e sez 'e don't see no sich thing,
So Begg gits 'ot, an' starts to loose a "Damn."
'E twigs the missus jist in time to check,
An' makes it "Dash," an' gits red down 'is neck.

There's me an' Peter Begg, an' ole man Poole--
Neighbours uv mine, that farm a bit close by--