Yours until they have ham at a Jewish wedding,

BARNEY.




Dere Julie:

Skinny and me has at last burgled our way into society. You know
derie, that what I know about the highbrow stuff would fill a book,
and what Skinny don't know would fill a library.

Believe you me derie, you needn't get jelous for I would just as
soon get chummy with a flivver as I would with this bunch of "Janes"
who put us on exhibition, for that was exactly what we wuz in their
eyes--freeks on exhibition.

It happened like this: Lady Blue Jeans Shoddy or some name like that
was givin an afternoon funkshun (I'm quotin from the invite so I can'
tell you what it means derie) fer charity and a lot of our company was
invited to come, admission free--tickets fifty cents. Anyhow it was
a lecture by Lord Somebody for the benefit of Lord knows what; the
nearest I could make out it was a spiel on "Do married men make the
best husbands." I'd like to tell you how I enjoyed the talk--but I
don't use that kind of language; anyhow I'll lay a small peece of
change that this bird knew less about what he was trying to talk about
than you could drive into a turkey gobbler with a peggin' awl. I give
in tho, that he was a brave cuss; anybody who stood up and shot "bull"