An instructor today was wising us up on overseas service, and told
us the best way to rough house cooties; he didn't show us any of the
pets, but did show us the scratch proof dug-outs they had made on
his frame. From the way he described 'em and their habits, I imagine
they are the same species of "seam squirrels" that you get in a Coney
Island bathin suit. The first time you go to Mrs. Woolworth's store
please buy and send me a ½ dozen graters so I can rent 'em out to
the boys to scratch on. That's me. In time of piece prepare for war.

I see by the papers that Uncle Sam says the Kings must be thrown out.
Believe you me, he must be some poker player to throw out 3 kings and
make a hand win.

Skinny Shaner got in dutch today at drill. We had been drillin for a
hour or so, and the command was, Company forward march! Halt! This was
kept up continuously fur about a hour, and all to wunce Skinny trowed
down his gun and said he'd be d---- if he would be bossed by a guy
like that, he changed his mind to d---- often. Skinny is always like
that. Ever since he's been here, he's been braggin what a fine singer
he is; said his voice was trained for Grand Opera. He sang for us last
night, a song, entitled "God give us cheap ice, for Heaven's knows we
have cheap skates." Believe you me, his voice was trained for Grand
Rapids instead of Grand Opera.

Yours until the William the Twicer gives that dinner in Paris,

BARNEY.

P.S.--I hope Skinny keeps well. He will if he don't try to sing again