sowls to Higgins, they'll be able to go a bit higher, say to the saints
first, an' thin to the blissid Vargin, an' so on, wan step at a time,
till they've got the whole av it. But it'll be mortial slow, I'm
doubtin'. I may have to bear an' forbear as I am for an intire
gineration av the poor crachurs."

"Certainly," assented the professor. "Nothing so injurious to weak eyes
as too much light."

"Y' 'ave put it in a nutshell," replied the priest. "Sure an' that's
the rason we're opposed to gineral schoolin', an' to readin' the Bible
to the children. Y' are a masther mind, Heller, an' ought to been in
howly ordhers. An' that brings me to another idee av high importince.
There should be somebody to run about with howly wather an' exthrame
unction, an' the like. Now that business wouldn't shuit me pheesical
conformation, an' nayther would it shuit the character I have to bear.
It's betther that you should do the outside trampin', Heller. Ye know
the tradditions an' docthrines av the Church well enough, an' y' are a
dab at Latin. As for yer not bein' av the prastely office, I'll jist lay
hands on ye an' qualify ye for the same. If it happens to be a bit
irregular, why, the ind justifies the manes, ye remimber, or the ancient
Fathers are all wrong, which is onpossible. An' now, Heller, do tell
these poor, benighted, lazy loons that I must have me coky-nuts fresh,
an' as great a variety av fish as can be procured in these wathers. The
chap that preshumes to bring me an owld coky-nut I'll curse his basket
an' his shtore."

After a brief missionary effort, Heller reported that the whole
population of the island, barring a few obstinate seniors, had been
baptized.