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Humorous Masterpieces from American Literature by Various
page 71 of 218 (32%)
does, and lifts it into the region of ethics. Hoeing becomes, not a
pastime, but a duty. And you get to regard it so, as the days and the
weeds lengthen.

_Observation_.--Nevertheless, what a man needs in gardening is a
cast-iron back, with a hinge in it. The hoe is an ingenious instrument,
calculated to call out a great deal of strength at a great disadvantage.

The striped bug has come, the saddest of the year. He is a moral
double-ender, iron-clad at that. He is unpleasant in two ways. He
burrows in the ground so that you cannot find him, and he flies away so
that you cannot catch him. He is rather handsome, as bugs go, but
utterly dastardly, in that he gnaws the stem of the plant close to the
ground, and ruins it without any apparent advantage to himself. I find
him on the hills of cucumbers (perhaps it will be a cholera-year, and we
shall not want any), the squashes (small loss), and the melons (which
never ripen). The best way to deal with the striped bug is to sit down
by the hills, and patiently watch for him. If you are spry, you can
annoy him. This, however, takes time. It takes all day and part of the
night. For he flieth in the darkness, and wasteth at noonday. If you get
up before the dew is off the plants,--it goes off very early,--you can
sprinkle soot on the plant (soot is my panacea: if I can get the
disease of a plant reduced to the necessity of soot, I am all right);
and soot is unpleasant to the bug. But the best thing to do is set a
toad to catch the bugs. The toad at once establishes the most intimate
relations with the bug. It is a pleasure to see such unity among the
lower animals. The difficulty is to make the toad stay and watch the
hill. If you know your toad, it is all right. If you do not, you must
build a tight fence round the plants, which the toad cannot jump over.
This, however, introduces a new element. I find that I have a zoological
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