uncompromising food economists, may I point out on behalf of our
four-footed friends what admirable service they render the community by
the destruction of flies? My Irish terrier, Patsy, spends half his time
catching blue-bottles--indeed, my husband, who is of a mathematical
turn, estimates that he accounts for several hundreds every day.
Faithfully yours, VERAX.

[Patsy has indeed deserved well of the commonwealth. Some official
recognition is clearly called for, preferably a special
collar--unstarched, of course--recording his services.--ED. _Weekly
Simpleton_]

* * * * *

HOW TO PROVIDE FOR POMS.
_Mazawattee Mansions, Matlock._

DEAR SIR,--I have had since 1912 a Pomeranian dog of good pedigree.
Wishing to give him a chance, I changed his name from Fritz to Jock, but
he refuses to answer to the new title. As it is impossible to deport him
to his native land, I think of presenting him to a German Prisoners'
Camp in the neighbourhood, but before doing so should be glad of your
advice. Yours anxiously, PUZZLED.

[The problem is a difficult one, but we see no reason for vetoing
our correspondent's generous proposal. The position of neutral dogs
is also puzzling. Only the other day we heard of a Great Dane who
could not be taught to "die for the King"--doubtless on
conscientious grounds. The feelings of the mites in a Dutch cheese,
again, ought to be considered.--ED. _Conscience._]