risk of pneumonia gallantly rescued a number of women from a
tramcar that couldn't swim."--_Daily Sketch_.

The attention of the L.C.C. is respectfully called to this deficiency on
the part of its vehicle.

* * * * *

"A vessel of 30,000 tons may be sunk, but on the percentage
table, such as the Admiralty serves up to us, she occupies the
same relative position as a one-ton yawl returning with a load of
kippers."--_Mr. E. Ashmead-Bartlett in "The Sunday Times."_

Inquiries as to the locality of the kipper fishing-grounds should be
addressed to our contemporary. We ourselves hear that it is in the
neighbourhood of the fried whitings.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Anxious voice_ (_from motor-launch_). "I SAY, CAN YOU
TELL ME EXACTLY WHERE I AM?"

_Commander of destroyer_. "YES, DEAR OLD THING. YOU'RE IN THE NORTH
SEA."]

* * * * *

TO SMITH IN MESOPOTAMY.

Master of Arts, how is it with you now?